Hellos and Goodbyes
Every other Thanksgiving, rare summer trips, and on special occasions, we are blessed to gather with my husband’s family that lives scattered across the country. I suppose there should be some comfort that, at least for now, we’re not scattered across the world. These gatherings are highly anticipated—time protected on the calendar as much as possible. Upon arrival there are long hugs, welcome, settling into shared space, and an energy that bounces among us. We understand that each portion of the family has carved out time, packed, planned, traveled, committed their funds and food and work to make it happen and we appreciate the efforts made to do so. And, now that our children have grown into adults, there is a new level of appreciation on their part that is special to watch. These gatherings have been such a valuable part of their lives that they are upping our game, wanting to get together more often than we have thus far. Though, perhaps they hope to meet up with the younger generation among us and leave the parentals to figure out their own plans.
Our visits are filled with an abundance of great food, including many favorites that make their appearance with regularity. Chris from Louisiana makes fantastic gumbo. There is the best cornbread dressing, as well as orange fluff made by Donna, my sister-in-in law, and a superior (seriously) green bean casserole from our niece Jennifer. Daughter-in-law, Nathalee, contributes creations that represent her home of Puerto Rico. Last Thanksgiving there was Pumpkin Trés Leches cake that was sensational. David brings his chicken & yellow rice. I could go on, but you get the general idea—a buffet of deliciousness arrives with the people who come.
There are penny poker and card games, airsoft battles in the woods, gingerbread house competitions, special shows watched together, jokes to play on one another, an occasional campfire, exploring the area, catching up on life, and always tons of laughter—so much joy. And, if you happen to be caught napping in a food coma, someone will gladly pose with you for a picture.
But always, at the end of our allotted days, the time comes when we have to part and head to our separate homes. The goodbyes carry sadness, of course. All that we have looked forward to has sifted through the hourglass, making beautiful memories, but delivering us to the time of parting. But the worst, seriously THE WORST, is if you happen to be the last part of the group to leave. Others give hugs and pull away and there you are, in the space you’ve shared together for days, but all the others are now missing. It’s SUCH an empty nest feeling. I always try to hurry and throw our things into the car and do the last bit of cleaning up, racing everyone else, so we’re not the last one’s to leave. Because goodbyes are hard enough—but the empty nest is the pits.
As much as I dislike the goodbyes, they are part and parcel of the hellos. We can’t have one without the other. And because we love one another and treasure these times, we endure the closure so we can celebrate the welcome and new possibilities each time we gather. And when the heart feels empty at the end of a visit, when goodbyes are necessary, we offer the biggest hugs we can muster and understand that the sadness is a measure of the gifts received and love shared among our crazy bunch of knuckleheads.
